Thought for the Day….

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I find myself in a conundrum….
Where the fear of running out of life is equally balanced by the fear of having lived a life and run out of the physical or mental strength to do any more than exist and wonder the number of days left before you are freed.
I am terrified of waking up and finding that the days are numbered and there are things left to do, left to see that have gone from being a possibility to having been put forever into the imagination of what might have been
Whilst the pondering of ones mortality is an ages old saga that has been hashed out and fought with by many before myself…. What makes it so that ones life has an impact on the world or on humanity as a whole…. And then argue with ones ego that you are special enough to have such a want that your existence might not be easily forgotten
I find myself in a place where I can’t think straight over the noise of life and the frustration that the world can’t stop – if only for a moment so that I can stand back and look…. And think… Without constant interruption of the necessities of life.

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And the River Runs Red

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 Strip the colour

Let me see

In black and white

and the grey between

What do you see?

the colour is gone

But the river runs red

I am shutting it down

Turning lights off

Let the stars guide me

Let the stars hide me

As the river runs red

Trace your fingertips along my skin

Kiss me goodbye

with the going down of the sun

I am taking it with me

Washing out with the tide

And the river runs red

Underneath a Velvet Sky

Originally posted on h2artphotography:

I took a step backwards

and found myself

within myself

on a journey of introspection

where I have lost myself again.

Where the minutes feel like years

and the colours all blend into one,

Where the thoughts in my mind

are floating away like clouds in the wind

I’m looking through the back of the mirror inside

at my outside self

which steps through the paces

and does what needs to be done

but I’m not seeing through these eyes

and I don’t want to move

I don’t what to think

I’m watching the world through someone else’s eyes.

Let the darkness envelope me

let it wrap me up and hold me close

Underneath a velvet sky.

I don’t want to speak

I can’t find the words

Let me hear instead the music play

and maybe the words will guide me

maybe they will find me

but just for now…

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Underneath a Velvet Sky

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I took a step backwards

and found myself

within myself

on a journey of introspection

where I have lost myself again.

Where the minutes feel like years

and the colours all blend into one,

Where the thoughts in my mind

are floating away like clouds in the wind

I’m looking through the back of the mirror inside

at my outside self

which steps through the paces

and does what needs to be done

but I’m not seeing through these eyes

and I don’t want to move

I don’t what to think

I’m watching the world through someone else’s eyes.

Let the darkness envelope me

let it wrap me up and hold me close

Underneath a velvet sky.

I don’t want to speak

I can’t find the words

Let me hear instead the music play

and maybe the words will guide me

maybe they will find me

but just for now I’ll lie me down to sleep

and pray to god my soul to keep

Until the day dawns as only it must

and in the morning light

we shall see..

see if the lighthouse beckons

see if it show me the way

instead of dreaming the dream

of finding the way

beneath a velvet sky.

Where the tears I shed are not my own

where I don’t need to be samson

Where the demons can’t find me

and the angels still fear to tread

Where I can be lost

in the middle of nothing

but for the comfort of being

Underneath a velvet skyImage

Who the hell do you think you are?

Who the hell do you think you are?
That you felt you could play us all like puppets?
That you could so easily deceive
And leave us in your web of lies
Was nothing real?
Was nothing true?
Was it all nothing more than a mind game or two?
Do you have any conscious for what you have done?
For what lives you played with?
What lives you screwed?
Pity for you
For what you have done
I think you have no concept of what you have done!
It was all about you
Your power plays and your ambition
You never considered the heads that you stepped on
Don’t you dare blame me for where you lay now
This is all your own doing and I wish that you cared
Wish I could curse you from the top of my lungs
But I won’t you know because the damage is done
There is nothing to be gained and your karma will come

I will protect the children both mine and hers as best as I’m able
And I will do so not the least because they are the victims of your wars.

I will pray for these children to have the grace
To find their own space
As they grow
And hope that they will forever hold each other in the hearts
Regardless of your destruction
And I will pray for these children to have love in their hearts and not walk your path
God forgive you for what you have done
For I cannot

Just right now

Just right now….. I want to turn the music up so loud…
So loud I can’t hear the voices in my mind
Just right now…..I want to walk into the ocean
Walk so deep that the water covers my eyes so that I can’t see
Just right now…. I want to feel the burn
To run my fingers through the flames
Just right now… I need to breathe

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Out to sea

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IMG_1262I am a fish

swimming in opposite directions yet moving all the same

I have no set destination

no picture in my mind of where I will be

I live through the world as I see it go by

I used to believe I was purely a simple fish

however on reflection I find that nothing is further from this in truth

If you swim with me you will need to keep pace

and spin and swirl and dance about

and I’m telling you now

I have not been caught yet

nor to I intend to be

A nice dream to dream

but the tides they flow, they ebb and they rage

All in a moment then silent again

My words are just words

Sometimes yet there is a deeper truth

and perhaps that hides even from me

maybe we will all just drown at sea

Diamonds and Dust

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Why do you make it so hard

for me to say goodbye

when you can’t give me what I need

When you know that this has to end?

Day by day

I stand

And watch as I let it drift through my fingertips

all that is diamonds and dust.

The possibility of everything

is what you’re hoping for

yet deep down you know

the truth

that you’re happy to hide in a falsehood

hoping the dream of dreams

when all the same you hear the reality

and know that the diamonds are nothing but coal

they aren’t real

and the truth is cold as steel

This is just not real

And you are just a mission bellImage

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